On Being an Adult Daughter of an Aging Mother (Part 3)

This blog post was written by Donna Hunnicutt, SHPP’s Market Manager in Orange County. Prior to learning about SHPP, she went through a long and stressful process of moving her own mother from her home of 20+ years into a senior living community.

As part of our current initiative to support adult children with aging parents, we’ve asked Donna to share her personal experience and lessons learned. Today’s post is the final part. To read part one, click here or click here for part two.

 

My mom was lucky, in that she was able to postpone the sale of her condo until after she made the move into senior living, in the event she was not happy with her choice. This was also her way of having some control over what was happening, as she would tell us, well, if I don’t like it there, I want to know I can move back “home.” (One of my sisters, “The Designer”, who copiously worked for months with the community design team to create a beautiful, customized apartment for my mom, was not happy with her threat to move in and then move out!)

A few months after we got mom settled into her new community, we began the arduous task of selling her condo, which was mostly in my hands as “the realtor daughter.” Even with this designation, there was not much I could do as a realtor on the other side of the country, especially upon learning that Mom was not fond of the agent who handled many of the sales in her old condo building. In addition, the building itself was going through some major repairs, with a large assessment being levied on each unit, which needed to be disclosed and negotiated.

I began researching reputable agents in her local area, and interviewed them by phone. As a realtor, I knew what questions to ask potential listing agents, but the process was still challenging, as we had to find an agent we could trust to handle the whole sale without any of us being “there”. I finally located an agent who also used to be an attorney from my family’s home state of Connecticut, which was somewhat of a comfort level for my mom and my sisters. After dealing with clearing out the “left over” furniture and miscellaneous items left after mom’s move (which was handled with yet another trip by one of my sisters), we were ready to put the condo on the market.

As with most real estate transactions, there were many back and forth negotiations with the buyers of the condo, and I was constantly on the phone with our agent and my mom, explaining what was taking place with the sale process. After some complications, we finally closed on the sale, and closed that chapter of mom’s past.

Again, I wish I had known then what I know now, about Senior Home Purchase Program, and their Direct Purchase option for senior home sellers like my mom. With SHPP’s fair valuation model, ability to purchase homes in most major metropolitan areas outside of California, and their very stream-lined, simple, and stress-free process, SHPP would have been a very viable option for the sale of my mom’s condo. (Which is why I am now part of the SHPP Team in California, because I see the value and genius of what we offer to seniors and their families!)

Now, almost three years later, my mom still resides at the Senior Community she chose, and we are now faced with new, on-going challenges of her physical and emotional aging process. As my sisters and I realize that we have “traded” roles with my mom, we continue to learn and figure out the road ahead, which all of us will travel on as we age.

"I wish I had known then what I know now, about Senior Home Purchase Program, and their Direct Purchase option for senior home sellers like my mom. With SHPP’s fair valuation model, ability to purchase homes in most major metropolitan areas outside of California, and their very streamlined, simple, and stress-free process, SHPP would have been a very viable option for the sale of my mom’s condo."

We have learned to reach out to resources available for mom’s care, and that there IS help out there for our seniors. What I have learned through this process of the past few years is that as an Adult Daughter/Child, it is our “duty” to become an advocate and voice for our parents, when they can no longer advocate for themselves. Even though they fight us and insist they can, we owe it to them to become more involved with their daily lives, which is a challenge whether we live near or far, and provide them with the assurance that they will have the help and care they need in these later, last years. I love you, Mom.

Thank you for following along Donna’s three-part story. We hope her personal experience and tips are insightful, especially for those going through similar scenarios.

The SHPP team is here to help! Please consider SHPP a resource for your senior transition needs, we would love to help simplify your move with our simple, certain, and stress-free process.

Let us help you transition safely and stress-free, we are here to help you!